Lazy Saturdays

34 weeks and the things people say

So let me tell you a little something about myself… I’m 5’3″. And I’m carrying my baby ALL in front. I absolutely love being pregnant, but with me being short, and a belly that is growing perfectly horizontal, this week has brought some unwelcomed remarks. And really, it started only this past week. I’m currently at the stage that my little man is packing on half a pound a week. (Chub on little man!) And my belly is growing at an alarming rate with him. With all the self-esteem smashing comments I’ve received this past week, I thought I’d write a little guide for you.

What you should NEVER say to a pregnant woman: (and the things I wish I had the guts to say back.)

  • Are you sure you’re not having twins? (You know, I’m not. The ultrasound technician seemed a little drunk the last time we checked.)
  • YOU have gotten so big since that last time I saw you two days ago! (I haven’t been able to put down the cupcakes.)
  • When are you due? Yesterday? (You are correct. I’m over due now… And then as the weeks go by watch them feel really bad for me.)
  • Duuuude. You look like you’re going to pop. (I am. Please step a little closer to me.)
  • You look soooo big. (Really? I actually haven’t gained any weight during my pregnancy. My doctor is very concerned.)
  • Do you use your belly as a desk? (Yes. And also as a weapon.)
Yes. I have recieved every one of these. Several times.
What you can say instead:
  • Your belly is adorable!
  • You look amazing!
  • Here, take my seat. Do you need something to put your feet up on?
  • Would you like a piece of cake?

This is all in good fun. I know people mean well. I know I’m huge. It just gets a little wearing when almost everyone you talk to reminds you of your size. I did enjoy this moment though…My parents have been out of town for about a month, and last night I saw them for the first time since they left. When I walked thru the door, both sets of eyes bulged out of their heads and  they both said “Wow!” at the same time. I read a couple days ago that women who were larger babies tend to give birth to babies that are also large. I was ten pounds. Heaven help me.

Alright ladies, what horrible remark did you get over and over while you were pregnant? 

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37 Comments

AMEN! Im 39 weeks and feel like a flippin blimp & people still have the nerve to point it out! haha goodness..

Johanna says:

Krista, I love this post! I’m just at week 17 now and people start saying : Johanna, your belly is really big already! Uhm, thank you, I’m still happy that I finally start showing and everybody around already tells me I’m looking big.
Makes me looking forward to the remaining 22 weeks…

Miranda says:

I get huge. HUGE. And get comments and looks for about the last half of my pregnancies. The first round it was kind of funny, the second round I was so over it. I love your suggestions for kind things to say to a very pregnant woman. Sometimes even I need to remember to make them feel like a million, rather than like they weigh a million.

You, my dear, really do look adorable!

xo

lazysaturdays says:

Oh the LOOKS! I forgot to mention those! Haha! Those are funny! I worked with kids… up until a week ago… and their looks at my belly were my favorite! One little girl I never met actually gave me a sweet sincere hug because I was pregnant. And then some look at me with HUGE eyes like they can’t believe a human can grow the way I’ve grown! Haha!

Olivia says:

When I was about 34 weeks pregnant with my first, a woman working at ampm asked me if I was pregnant with twins. I was not. She kept insisting that there must be another baby in there, and wouldn’t let it drop. I started to get a little snippy, because trust me, I had had 4 ultrasounds all showing one kid and told her so! Plus, I really wasn’t that big. Finally, I came up to pay, and was getting a bag of Skittles. I ate pretty well overall, but was craving the treat, and she told me that I shouldn’t eat them. Finally I snapped and almost yelled that I had only gained 9 pounds, and could eat whatever I wanted, and that my baby was good and healthy. I stunned her into silence, and left. I made the mistake of going back there one more time, and she started talking to me again about my belly. I sort of just ignored her, and heard her telling her co-worker that pregnant ladies never seem to like her. Gee, I wonder why? I never went back there again.

And, you look amazing, and are glowing! Just ignore all the rude comments! It seems like everyone has an opinion- too big, too small, etc etc, and it doesn’t matter, as long as you and your dear boy are healthy!

lazysaturdays says:

Oh my goodness!! People are crazy! I love what she said to her co-worker. Pregnancy brings out the most hilarious situations. I love it!

sayward says:

You are a totally beauty pregnant! You radiate! (does that help with the bad comments?) HA Seriously Krista, you look amazing. Most women would be lucky to look like you at 34 weeks.

lazysaturdays says:

I love you and miss you Sayward! Despite this post, I really do feel great still! It’s just absolutely hilarious the things people say without thinking them thru. I love reading your blog by the way :)

Amberie says:

We just need to get the word out that you should NEVER mention size to a pregnant lady.
(BTW, surprise! We’re expecting a boy too, just a couple weeks behind you.)
I’m less than 5′ tall and people keep telling me that my belly is tiny! You might think that’s a compliment. But in my head, I’m thinking, “I’ve tried to eat good foods and I’ve worked really hard to grow a healthy baby, but he’s still scrawny like his mom! What if he’s a 98-pound weakling his whole life?! I’ve got bad genes!!!”
Yeah–just stick to the recommended compliments and offers of treats. :)

lazysaturdays says:

First of all…. WHAT!!?? Congrats!!!! I’m stoked! You’re going to be a rockin’ mom!
Second… I agree with the size thing! Too big comments make you think you’re unhealthy and too small comments make you think your babe is unhealthy. Keep comment to self and let the doctors/midwives do the commenting if there is a health concern. But on the bright side, you married a giant! Your boy got half his genes :) I was a heffer as a baby and turned out on the small side. Maybe he’ll do the opposite :) And would you like a piece of cake?

Brianna Hodgkin says:

Oh, Krista, you are adorable!

P.S. When we were born, Tyler was 13 lbs and I was 8 lbs. I can only imagine how ginormous our babies our going to be. Woof. So my future self feels your pain? Probably.

lazysaturdays says:

13 pounds! That’s impressive. I wish your future child-bearing self lots of luck!

Andrea says:

Aw I think you look great, and I’m so glad you feel great too! I think some people’s sincere fascination with pregnancy tends to (unfortunately) come off as horror or concern. I so rarely see pregnant women in public that I often do a double-take when I actually do (thought I’d never tell them they look enormous). I’ve never been pregnant but I can only imagine how tiresome and uncomfortable it can be to be stared at and talked to like that! Wishing you the best for these final weeks…

lazysaturdays says:

Even pregnant, I definitely love checking out other pregnant ladies :) I’m right there with ya! I don’t mind the nice looks, which I’m pretty sure that’s what you give. It’s the looks of oh-my-goodness-you-look-HUGE that are annoying to get. Haha!

Jenny says:

I think you look adorable! I saw your picture and thought you looked fantastic for being 34 weeks pregnant. I love that outfit.

Dawniepants says:

You look completely amazing. I showed my fiance your pictures from this post because I thought you look super stylish. He said he thought you looked ace! So don’t be listening to the silly buggers I think people don’t think pregnant women mind people telling them they look ‘big’ any other woman would totally!

You look fab! And seriously stylish!

dp
x

http://www.inanityandthegirl.com

maddie says:

I think you look amazing! You seem like such a stong lady for not letting the comments get to you.

Alicia S. says:

People said the nicest things to me like: “You must be having a girl, because she’s taking all your beauty from you”. Awwww, how sweet! Bleeping jerk!!

But the best is from my midwife. I am also pretty tiny at 5’1″ so I looked humongous at only 5 mths. But apparently, I was the only one who didn’t notice for I have the opposite thing as anorexia, where I think I look amazingly small and petite. Anyway, my midwife says to me that normally women come to her office complaining that they’re as big as whales and she has to calm them down and say there-there, you’re not big at all! But you, my dear Alicia, are huuuuuge!!!! You might have a 12 pounder in there. I nearly fainted.

lazysaturdays says:

Wow. Those definitely top anything that’s been said to me! Way to be the bigger person not punch them in the face. I salute you.

Alicia S. says:

I definitely WAS the bigger person!!! Haha

Michelle says:

I worked up until a week before my due date with my first.
That last week I told once co-worker that I was 5, yes 5, cm dialated already.
Later that day while using the bathroom I heard two woman I had never met talkingabout, the girl who is walking around at a 5 and how crazy she must be. I was so annoyed, I’m sure by the end of the day the 300+ people at work that day all knew about me!

lazysaturdays says:

Rude! Makes you wonder what else she was saying. Nothing like having trustworthy co-workers.

Beverly says:

I am very short: 5’1″, with a small torso, and I know that I am going to hate everyone when I get pregnant. Haha. I’ll probably go into hiding.

kate says:

you look super cute! I think the most annoying question people asked me was “Was this planned??” I think that is the rudest question ever! I pray that you don’t have a 10 pound baby!!

Caila says:

People always asked me that when I was pregnant with our third! As if having anything more than two kids had to be an accident. Rude. (But it actually was an accident–a happy one–ha!)

Anja says:

I haven’t been pregnant, but my best friend gave birth to my godchild last summer and she got quite some remarks herself. Those comments are aweful. How can people be so rude or not thinking at all. It’s quite sad. I hope you don’t let those talk pull you down and you stay in a good mood. The last weeks and months can be the hardest and I hope you still can enjoy them a bit.
I can only say – YOU LOOK ADORABLE, YOU GLOW AND YOU ARE SOOOO PRETTY!

Anja

Ashley Byrd says:

I have never been pregnant, but I have been mistaken for a pregnant girl. I was at the bank, and a teller (not the one assisting me) asked, “Boy or girl?” I assumed someone else was in line because I had no idea what she meant. Then she clearly directed it at me, “Are you having a boy or girl?” *confused look (I am not a big girl–very average)* “I’m not having a baby.” The teller responds, “REALLY?! Are you serious?”

No, lady, I am lying to you. If I was far enough along to know the sex of a child I’m carrying, I would not lie about being pregnant. Needless to say, I NEVER wore that outfit again…

(On the day my husband proposed, I also got asked by a lady in a drive-thru if I was pregnant. I was wearing a very breezy blouse. I’ve always worn a belt with it since then. :)

You look fabulous!

And:

Your belly is adorable!
You look amazing!
Here, take my seat. Do you need something to put your feet up on?
Would you like a piece of cake?

Marissa says:

I’m 5’4″ and 37 weeks, plus my babies are bigger (biggest was 10.5 lbs, smallest 8 lbs) and this is my fourth. You tend to show a lot more and a lot sooner the more kids you have. So needless to say I’m pretty big at this point. I think I’m doing pretty awesome (I’ve only gained about 18 lbs.) but EVERYONE has to comment on how HUGE I am. I get “When are you due again?” and “You still haven’t had that baby yet?” (Um, no I still have 3 weeks.) But, the worst one that I get from strangers is when I have my 3 other kids in tow and someone will say “And you want MORE?!” No, I don’t want more. Do you want to take one of them for me? Seriously?!! I can’t believe the nerve. Why would someone even ask that? I will have to say some people can be kind. One mom came up to me at the gym while I was working out and said, “You are my hero. Keep it up.” That was just awesome.

Kathryn Gower says:

You know, I have been guilty of saying some of those things and really I just didn’t know how inappropriate saying, “You look like you’re going to pop” was. Good to know. A lot of us have never been pregnant and as a nursing student looking forward to working in the OB/GYN field, its good to know these things before you get into your practice. (I enjoyed your sarcasm, btw. Quite hilarious)
As for the big baby, honestly its hard to get an accurate measurement of a child in utero despite our advanced technology. However, if you have wide hips, you shouldn’t have any problems. (I was over 9 pounds and my brother before me was over 10 and my mother birthed all her children without surgery.)
peace and BLESSINGS!

Megan E says:

I’m 19 weeks pregnant and know that I am going to be HUGE. But it’s definitely one thing for me to know that, and for other people to say that. So far the majority of people I’m around every day are really nice/tactful-but I’m almost looking forward to see what people will say (my first pregnancy obviously). Depending on my mood part of me wants to put people in their place and just say that that’s a horrible/rude thing to say (but then that would be kind of rude of me), other times I want to joke about it, and then another part of me wants to deny being pregnant or make up some crazy story and see their reactions. Hopefully I’ll be kind and nice though because in the end babies are worth all the pain and rude remarks.

lazysaturdays says:

Babies are definitely worth everything we’re going thru! I actually did tell someone that I wasn’t pregnant once. Her face was so funny! But then I felt bad and I quickly let her know that I was VERY pregnant. But man, that was fun! I thought my husband was going to die when I did that. And I have to say, most of the time when people say really horrible remarks, they don’t realize how bad what they are saying is. So it’s hard to really get mad. But it is fun to blog about :)

Jen says:

Towards the end of the first trimester I was so worried that I looked fat but not pregnant. Nothing was fitting, but I didn’t have a bump yet. We weren’t telling people, so I was feeling a little self conscious. We were getting ready to go out one night and I told my husband how I was feeling and he replyed, “Don’t worry honey, you just look gassy.”

I was also very worried that strangers would touch me. I told my husband in the later, hormone filled months, that if anyone tried to rub my belly and ask when I was due I would do the same to them. Thankfully, no one ever did.

lazysaturdays says:

Oh my goodness! That’s my exact plan for if a stranger touches mine too! Except I don’t plan on asking when they’re due. I’m going to ask, “Isn’t it weird when a stranger touches your stomach without asking?”

Reese says:

I came to read the comments on this blog from your favorite posts of 2012. And I got to your comment here… the lasttttttt one. And busted out laughing.

I’m totally going to ask that to strangers too ;)

lazysaturdays says:

Please report back if you ever do use it!!!! I never had a stranger touch my belly so I never put it to use. I’m kinda bummed :) Haha!

Jess says:

I’m the same height and carried exactly the same. At 20 weeks a lady goes “oh it mustn’t be long now?!” When I replied I was only halfway she asked was it twins! (It wasn’t lol). Everyone constantly told me I was going to have a huge baby but she was perfectly average size and that was being born 10 days late :)

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